


Breaking With The Voices Inside

by GayNoctis



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-04
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-19 13:11:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2389475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayNoctis/pseuds/GayNoctis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if he's broken and you can't ever fix him, it was all your fault for fucking around with but since you had to be the asshole you are and your only thoughts are fixed on how to help him you know he doesn't want to see anyone at all not even Gamzee and its all because of how bad you fucked up with your stupid ass problems.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. These Voices Don't Stop

**Author's Note:**

> Watch out this fanfiction is really shitty, lmao. My writing is pretty bad, I put Sollux's lisp differently so blame me for the horrid thing.  
> Comments are welcome, please suggest some things I should put into the story. >:B

**== >** **Help your friend, fuck ass.**

If I could I would've punched his nooksucking mouth to the ground, but I hate to even tell this to myself when I know I should do it. He was already fucking mad so why would I want to fuck his attitude up even more I don't know why he's still grinning at me, it makes me wonder why I even put up with his shit.

"Sollux can you fucking calm down?"

I say with my usual snarky attitude.

He glares at me with his shitty mismatched glasses, and knowing that he's most likely going to reply with his sarcastic remarks I wait for the fuckface to reply.

"Ath a matter of fact KK I will, but you havth to do thomething for me."

He smirks at me like the asshole he is.

I groan out as I already know what he's asking, this motherfucker knows what he wants from you.

"Okay what the fuck do you need?" 

I bit my lips as I just don't want to think about whatever the fucking ''something'' he wants it might not be as bad as you think it is but still you know when some shit is about to storm.

Suddenly I taste a metallic, and irony flavor on my lips, fuck I had forgotten that I had these sharp ass teeth which now I'm bleeding my shitty blood in front of Sollux, god damnit.

"Aw fuck." 

I clean the blood with the sleeve of my jumper, Sollux eyes me warily but he shrugs it off.

"I need you to get me thome thnacks but you thould watch out I think Vriska's out there with Kanaya and Aradia although I know they'd help you againth Vriska but whatever juth get me thome snacks."

 "Ugh," I groan out at the fact that he only wants snacks and the fact that Vriska's here makes it even worse.

I grit my teeth, and speak to this douchebag of a friend.

"Fine fuckass but I'm not getting anything else for your lazy ass."

He grins and nods at me.

"Go get 'em KK."

He laughs, I give him a glare.

The fucker knew what he was doing.

==> **Get fucking ready for that spiderbitch**

 I walk over to the kitchen, and there she is that spiderbitch.

''Heyyyy there, Mr.Nubby crab."

She smirks at me with her usual confident asshole smile, thinking she's so high and mighty when she's actually just shit.

"Tch, you're so fucking annoying like do you think that you're hot shit. When really you're nothing but a bitch who can't handle her own fucking mind."

I glare at her, and she notices that I'm getting way to worked up for my own fucking good.

Her smirk gets even more wider, oh my god she looks at me like I'm nothing but a joke.

When in reality I am not to be fucked with, or so I thought.

"My god Karkat calm your fucking angry self, I'm just here to talk with Aradia and Kanaya."

She gives me a smile that seems too fake for her own good. 

My brows furrow, I don't understand her that much since she's a major bitch and all, I guess I'm just overreacting but I know that she's a mind controlling fucker.

"Uh, well okay. I mean why would you come to the lab just to talk to them when you could talk to them on Trollian."

I am honestly curious on why she's here at the lab. 

She stares at me, she starts to laugh.

Why the fuck is she laughing? I don't understand this fucking girl at all.

"Hahahahaha. Oh my gog Karkat you little shit, I'm here BECAUSE I wanted to see Aradia and Kanaya in person. And I prefer talking to them in person."

I stare at her blankly, honestly I didn't expect her to actually want to come to the lab just to talk to Aradia and Kanaya in person.

Although I understand that Kanaya can deal with this bitch, and also Equius can too but Kanaya seems to have more power over her.

"Uh...okay I should get going now."

I look at Aradia and Kanaya both whispering to each other about something, I am intrigued to hear what're they talking about but I know I need to hurry up and get Sollux his stupid food.

Vriska eyes me and her eyes are scrunched up, as if she noticed something shitty about my appearance.

"What the fuck are you eyeing me like that spider-wench. Do I have something on my face?"

Her face still shows that same look of pure stupor. 

It makes me get even angrier than I was just before.

"SPIDERBITCH WHY DO YOU KEEP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!"

I growl slightly, mostly cause I'm annoyed right now.

She's in some trance or some shit.

Her voice is soft when she actually replies to me.

"Karkat, I'm sorry."

Wait, what the fuck did she say.

She looks at me with pure guilt, which is totally rare to see in a bitch like her.

She's not making eye contact with me, she's looking at the ground.

That is until now she looks right into my eyes, right when I ask her the question.

"Why are you apologizing?"

I look at her and finally I realize, what she's about to do.

I barely noticed that Aradia and Kanaya had left already.

Fuck I know what she's going to do. 

She walks over to me, I edge back until I stop by the counter.

I feel it, I know for a fact she's going to get me.

I had left my sickles at the lab, like the fucking idiot I am.

"Vriska...w-what are you doing?"

My own voice seems weak and small, it makes me angry that she got me all soft like this.

No one was here to stop her, it's all because of the stupid fucking food.

She glares at me, I see the look in her eyes and I feel it.

Oh shit, I can't even defend myself against this bitch. I can't and I know it, she knows I can't stop the mind control once she gets in.

She finally gets into my mind, and does her weird shit that I can't really describe how it feels because I'm so fucking mad.

I slowly close my eyes or in my head I did, I was still looking at the backstabbing bitch.

"I'm sorry, Karkat I have to do this."

I don't hear anything except that spiderbitch saying 'sorry' more like sorry my ass.

She starts making me go towards the exit of the lab, to the outside of the front yard.

What the fuck is she doing, why does she not even talk to you at all she's usually all bitchy to you, probably because of all your 'tantrums'.

As if answering my god damn question, she speaks.

"As of now, you will no longer be the leader of the red team. The new leader will be Aradia."

What the fuck did she say?

Did I fucking hear correctly, Aradia the leader? Laughing my ass off at the thought of Aradia being the red teams leader.

No, this shit is not going to happen, not when I, Karkat Vantas am prepared to be the leader.

She smiles at me as if reading my thoughts, I always knew she was the bitch who'd do something like this to you.

"Sorry, Nubkat but I had instruction to get you out of this lab, to your hive."

Nubkat? WHAT THE FUCK! SHE USED ONE OF THE STUPID NICKNAMES EVERYONE GIVES YOU.

My mind goes blank, that's when everything goes black.

My last thoughts before I disappear into the darkness.

To bad Sollux is waiting on his shitty food, he's not going to get any at all. Which makes me a little happy for because that fuckass deserves it.

==> **Where are you?**

I honestly don't know fuckface.

"Urgh..." I groan out, I feel sick.

That spiderbitch is going to get her ass kicked once I get out of here.

I notice the surroundings and I see that none of this shit is mine.

It's fucking Gamzees.

Why the fuck did she bring me here, where the hell did she run of to.

"Fuck..."

I growl out, my anger is getting higher.

That is until I hear his voice, I see him enter the living room quietly like the god damn clown he is.

He smiles his usual dopey smile, of course he's always like that.

"Hey Karbro, sorry that Vriska had to go on and motherfucking mind control you. It was mostly her motherfucking plan."

He shuffles towards you, slowly he picks you up from the ground where you were siting up like an angry toddler.

God damn that spiderbitch didn't have the decently lay you on a comfortable surface or a couch.

"Gamzee, what the fuck are you talking about this plan? And why was Vriska talking about Aradia being the red teams leader and shit."

He gives me a soft smile, he knows me well enought that he has to reply to me because I will not stop yelling unless he tells me something.

He lays me on his shitty couch, it's better than the floor though.

I fold my arms and glare at him to answer my fucking questions.

He sits down right by me, he just lays there for awhile before he actually answers me.

"Answer me, you clownfuck. What the fuck is this plan Virska was talking about, why are you hiding shit from me."

I sit there waiting for at least a reply that he would answer my questions, all I get is him talking about miracles and shit.

"A bro's gotta get his motherfucking chillax on, I won't answer you Karbro unless you motherfucking relax and by that I don't mean sleeping."

"Fuck off Gamzee, why the fuck do you have to do this shit with me."

I glare at him, my eyes are slightly red.

And that's when I see something different on Gamzee's expression.

He looks sober, how the fuck would I know how he looks like when he's sober? Well It's obvious his face doesn't look dazed which would mean he's stopped eating sopor slime.

I feel a shiver run through me, I see his dopey smile but I know he's hiding something from me, it's something that needs to be attended to but I can't put my finger on it.

"Karbro don't motherfucking think so hard about stupid shit. You just gotta relax you motherfucker."

I gulp, knowing that he's sober still scares the shit out of me.

"I-I know...but I can't relax. It's just I need to get back to dealing with Sollux."

He gives me his usual stupid clown face smile, but something's off about his smile. I can feel it in my gut that I need to leave and get back to Sollux in the lab.

"What's wrong Karbro? Is there a motherfucking problem."

His words had a harsher tone to it than his usual gentle, calm voice.

"Nothing's wrong Gamzee, I'm just thinking about something."

My voice is softer than before, I may as well cry in his fucking face.

His voice tone returns to his calm, and gentle one.

He starts shooshing me for some reason, that's when I realize that I was crying and I couldn't believe I was fucking crying in front of Gamzee.

"Karbro just relax motherfucker, you have too much motherfucking things going on in your little head."

He pulls me closer to his body, I hug him as the tears start to fall.

His body is still lanky and thin as ever and the way his body smells like soap and peaches.

I softly murmur some words.

"Gamzee I can't do this, I HAVE to be the red teams leader who else could be leader? That fucking spiderbitch thinks she can replace me as the leader."

He looks at me and smiles.

"Karbro listen to me even if you're not the leader, everything's going to be fine. Trust me motherfucker."

I bit my lip and I think about why the fuck am I crying here in front of Gamzee.

He's sober and yes he acts like everything's going to be fine, but really it's not going to be fine at all.

Everyone knows it, so why am I here with the unstable Gamzee.

"Gamzee, I don't think everything's going to be motherfucking okay. I'M NOT GOING TO GO FUCKING THROUGH THIS AGAIN."

I feel more of my translucent red blood come down my face.

I can't stop anymore it's like I'm letting all of my shitty feelings on Gamzee.

"It's not fucking fair Gamzee I DESERVE to be the leader, but somehow they don't fucking want me to be the leader. I JUST DON'T GET IT!"

I kept crying on Gamzees shoulder after that.

He pats my hair, I usually hate when other people touch my hair because of my horns.

But I just feel like shit ever since Sollux started freaking the fuck out on me, Kanaya not speaking to me lately because of her little meetings with Aradia and spiderbitch.

No one cares about a shitty mutant troll like me, why would they anyways?

I just can't stop the tears, it makes me angry but I can't fucking stop crying.

"Shooosh Karbro let all the motherfucking tears out. No one but me will see you, my miraculous brother."

I slowly sniff my nose and look up at him, he's smiling and not that shitty dopey smile.

A genuine smile that I've never really seen on his face, his whole aura feels so comforting and it makes me feel a little safer than before.

"Gamzee, I can't go back to the lab. I just feel empty whenever I walk around the lab and everyone's all on Trollian doing their stupid shit and I just don't want to go back to that fuckhole."

I sigh knowing Gamzee he'd want to help me out even if it doesn't help me.

His eyes glitter for a second, I take notice at how they glittered so bright.

"Karbro, I'd help any motherfucker who's in need of some serious motherfucking help."

He smiles again with that dopey one as if he's still on sopor slime.

I play with his black mass of hair, he pats my head.

I purr at his touch, I've never felt this comfortable around anyone not even the fuckass Sollux.

He laughs at my purr, I feel my cheeks get flushed.

"Heehee, Karbro your purr was motherfucking cute."

This bastards's getting confident.

"I don't fucking purr you clownfuck, I snarl get fucking mad at stupid fucks who annoy the shit out of me."

He smiles at me and suddenly I feel him hug me, I did not expect that.

He murmurs something.

"Thank you."

What the fuck is he thanking me for?

"For what Gamzee?"

He looks up at me, I notice that he had tears of his own, the translucent indigo of his tears flowing down his make up.

"For helping me when I really motherfucking needed it, like right now. Karbro I couldn't stop the voices they keep coming and they won't motherfucking stop.

They want me to kill everyone, even you and I just can't motherfucking do it anymore they keep whispering and telling me shit that will hurt you all.

And I don't want that, these motherfuckers aren't stopping Karkat they keep eating me inside, I can't handle it. I'm sorry."

I knew it, I fucking knew it he's losing himself and he wants me to help and yet I can't even fucking help myself or Sollux.

I can't believe it though, he will kill everyone even Equius, Eridan, Feferi, and Vriska all of the highbloods that are in our group.

This clownfuck better not give himself to those stupid voices or I swear to god I'll beat his ass right now.

"Gamzee, ignore them they're feeding you lies. Listen to me if you give up now you're just making it even easier for you to start killing us, is that what you want?

To kill us all and paint our blood on walls simply because you couldn't stop the voices.

Get the fuck up and fight them motherfucker, you give up now and you'll regret what you did and I swear Gamzee you will."

I look at him, he knows that I care for him but he's just in pain with everything going in his mind.

He grits his teeth, holds my hand tightly.

I held his hand back, he needs more help than me.

He hugs me tightly and we just stay like that until he speaks up.

"Karbro, you motherfucking are a miracle. They stopped whispering, they're afraid of you Karbro they know how strong you are."

He sighs out a soft sigh, he loosens his grip on me.

I sit back on the couch, off of his lap except he's still holding my hand with incredible strength.

I sigh as I know this whole day had been so long and full of problems, I'm beginning to feel sleepy I lay my head on his shoulder and start to daze off into a deep slumber.

He hums a tune I don't recognize, slowly his deep, gentle voice swifts me to sleep.

Last thing I felt was Gamzee wrapping us with one of his blankets, laid his head back.

"Night motherfucker."

And he went to sleep, nothing disturbing us until the morning.

 

 

 


	2. Hurting Someone Precious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are the most stupidest pile of shit ever, your name's Sollux Captor and you fucked up bad. I didn't really think what I'd say out loud would effect him, I just was so frustrated at myself that I couldn't really cheer him up and his whines kept repeating inside my head, my head was getting tired of his shit. I honestly am regretting everything I've ever said to him, I just hope he doesn't do something stupid. I seriously am the most stupidest fucking friend to do that to him, I should know he's more emotional out of all of us.  
> (Lmao, this is really shitty summary, sorry /)_(\\)  
> This is written in Sollux's POV so

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be a whole chapter on Sollux's POV, the next chapter is going to be Karkat's POV and the next chapter is going to be back to Karkat's POV but in the current time where he's with Gamzee at his hideout. Anyways I'll try to write better, this story's gonna be long as fuck.  
> Bye guys!

==> **What the fuck did you just do?**

I seriously can not believe that I just yelled that loud and in front of him, he doesn't deserve this and I know it.

Let's rewind on what I just did to him.

"GOD, KK CAN'T YOU LEAVE YOU'RE STUPID WHINES SOMEWHERE ELSE, UNLIKE YOU I NEED TO FUCKING CONCENTRATE ON MY HACKING SKILLS. YOU'RE REALLY PATHETIC YOU KNOW THAT, GO TALK WITH KANAYA SHE'LL LISTEN TO YOUR STUPID PROBLEMS. JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE."

I was fucking pissed off, he knew that my mood swings get out of hand when he starts acting like a whiny fuckface.

My eyebrows furrowed, I glared at him siting at his own computer desk, of course we were the only two in the lab today.

I notice that his usual face isn't really on his face, it concerns me a bit but not right now since I'm just so fucking pissed.

He puts the mask back on, and hides it with his anger.

"OH WELL I'M SO FUCKING SORRY THAT I JUST WANTED TO TALK TO ONE OF MY FRIENDS ABOUT MY PROBLEMS THAT I CAN'T FUCKING HANDLE AT THE MOMENT, HOW CAN YOU EVEN THINK THAT I WAS BEING ANNOYING? OH WAIT IT'S BECAUSE MY 'FRIEND' DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT MY PROBLEMS. SO MAYBE I SHOULD GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE AS SOON AS HE FREAKS THE FUCK OUT ON ME!"

I already expected that reply from him, it's not hard to figure out the most angriest little troll.

I bite my lip, I'm trying hard to not yell back but it's difficult, I can't help myself.

"HAHAHAHA. SERIOUSLY KK YOU NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, I'M GOING TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU IF YOU DON'T. SO I SWEAR TO GOD, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS, JUST LEAVE."

My laugh was harsh, he noticed it and I see his eyebrows furrow and I take notice on how his facial expression seems to be contemplating on something.

He really needs to leave, I can't do this any longer.

After some silence, and me glaring at him he finally decides to leave.

"FINE, I'LL GO BUT LET ME TELL YOU THIS SOLLUX. GO FUCK YOURSELF, BYE YOU PIECE OF SHIT."

I rub the temples of my forehead, I sigh out of relief that he's gone.

I watch him stomp out, fury radiating off of his small, and short frame his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes glowing red, his hands clenched in fists.

Before he leaves the lab he flips me off, tells me to go fuck myself, the usual angry remarks.

Sometimes he can be way to dramatic for his own good, it's ridiculous that he acts that way but you know that's Karkat for you.

I feel calmer but I still can't figure what this bad feeling in my gut is, it has something to do with Karkat that's for sure.

"Fuck, how am I supposed to concentrate when that stupid fuckface is making me feel concerned about his well fucking being."

I know I'm just being paranoid that something bad might happen to Karkat, it bothers me that I'm concerned for him at a time like this when we fought like the fucking idiots we are.

But that's what friends are for I guess, you know it's not all that bad but when you have mood swings you need to be alone from any contact with the angry troll.

It's okay though you know Karkat's going to still be your friend, it's a usual fight you guys have when both of you are at the lab alone, when no one stops Karkat from getting even angrier than he was before.

There's still something eating at you though, it's this feeling that makes you want to throw up you can't help it and it's this feeling that doesn't make you feel so good.

I can't really message him Trollian, he's pissed off and he'll most likely ignore me. It's only a matter of time when that feeling starts to eat me inside out, I can't do anything for now but I just get the feeling Karkat's not going to be fine.

I groan out, I can't believe I'm worrying my shit over that little fuck.

"Ugh, I swear to god if he pisses me off again I'll personally cull him for it especially when my fucking mood swings hit me hard."

I talk to myself more than often, it's not as bad as you'd think it'd be.

That is until I notice someone in the lab, hiding in the corner. 

What the actual fuck, I only know one person who'd hide in the corner and it's most likely that little shit of your friend, Karkat.

"...."

It looks like he wants to talk to you, but he seems to be hating himself more than you.

You should probably talk to him if you're his friend, well it seems reasonable since I've calmed down a bit.

It's been like three hours since your little fight with him, and you know you need to cheer him up he really needs it more than anyone in the group when they're sad or emotional.

I lean against my chair, I stare at his little, crumpled, body on the floor.

I look around the lab, noticing that not a single person has been in it except you and Karkat.

It's time to not fuck this up, Captor.

I sigh and touch the back of my head, I hear him slowly get up.

He's standing up now, he's staring right at me.

I stare back, I slowly walk closer to him.

He just stands there, he's not moving.

I'm finally close enough to touch his face, I notice his features much more clearly than before.

His eyes are red, his lips are stained with some of his blood, his hair looks fine although a bit messy, and he looks like he hasn't taken sleep for awhile.

Since when did KK look so different when you looked at him up close.

I stare at him, I can see everything that I have never noticed about him.

That's when his soft voice hits my ears, who knew the loudest troll out of us all would be that soft.

"Sollux, I'm sorry."

Sorry for what? This dumbass thinks it's his fault, he seriously blames everything on himself. 

That's fucking ridiculous, but you should know by now that Karkat's always been like that.

You can't help but feel a little bad that he's apologizing to you, but at the same time you feel a little safe knowing that Karkat's fine.

But that feeling won't go away, it's still there but hidden now that you're actually talking to him again.

"KK, you shouldn't be apologizing to me, you know that. It's my fault for lashing out on you, I warned you like a shit load of times that my mood has been getting out of hand for a bit. So please stop fucking blaming yourself for things that weren't even your fault."

I stare at his face, his brows furrow.

"I... well you see Sollux that's not the problem, the problem is that I couldn't fucking help you get through your mood swings. How can I call myself your friend if I can't even do a simple task like that? Don't you see Sollux I'm not worth your time, you know that yourself. I'm just tired of being noticed by someone who really needs a better friend than me, I can't even hack for shit. So explain to me how can I be your friend if I can't even help you get through shit like mood swings?"

What the fuck, and there he goes blaming himself on not helping you. 

When you know for a fact that he's been the only person who's helped you get through this shit, he keeps blaming himself.

It pisses you off that he's still hating himself, it's only a matter of time before something bad goes through Karkat's mind.

Everyone knows it too, they know Karkat can't stay in a room alone without hating himself on all the bad things that has happened in life.

It pisses you off that he himself can't overcome his self-loathing, why does he want to keep doing this to himself.

"Karkat, you need to fucking stop with that self-loathing bullshit I'm not going to let you go through that shit by yourself. You've helped me a shit load of times, I know I've treated you like shit at times. So I think it's time for me to do something for you, It's time for me to help you get those stupid thoughts out of your head."

He stares at me, his face looks rather blank.

That is until I notice his eyes getting red, what did I fucking do now.

"Really Sollux? You honestly think these thoughts are stupid? If they're so stupid why didn't you stop them from even entering my head, before you acted like an asshole to me. Do you honestly think that YOU of all people can help me? I'm questioning that right now, because it doesn't make much sense to me. I don't think you of all people could stop my thoughts even if you are my friend, it's obvious that you'd just quit on me. Since of course I am one of the most annoying trolls. Do you see where I'm getting at, Sollux? I DON'T WANT YOU TO HELP ME, I DON'T WANT YOUR PITY! I'M SICK OF STICKING WITH SOMEONE WHO'S MUCH MORE INTERESTED IN HIS HACKING, THAN HIS OWN FUCKING FRIEND."

I'm dumbfounded right now, when the fuck did he feel this way towards me.

Why didn't he say any of this to me, before our fight.

Why does he always hide things from me?

I can't help him in his mind, but I can calm him down.

He looks pretty fucking angry right now, his eyes are bright candy red, his fists are clenching near his jeans, his teeth seem to look sharper than usual.

"I'M TALKING TO YOU, CAPTOR. CAN YOU FUCKING HEAR ME? OH WAIT YOU PROBABLY CAN'T BECAUSE YOU'RE DROWNING ME OUT WITH HOW AWESOME YOU ARE AT HACKING. HAHAHAHA. HONESTLY THOUGH YOU MAKE ME WANT TO SLIT MY OWN THROAT, THAT'S HOW FUCKING ANNOYING YOU ARE. AH, IT FEELS SO GOOD TO LET THIS ALL OUT ON THE FUCKASS WHO'S BEEN DOING THIS TO ME."

What the actual fuck is going on right now, has he gone insane?

That bad feeling in my stomach is growing a lot faster than I'd expect, I feel like throwing up.

Oh god, oh god, I can't hold it in.

I notice him glaring at me, and that's when it all comes out.

I take a step back, he raises his eyebrows at me.

I throw up, all of the pizza coming out of me and the random shit I ate earlier that day.

And I feel so much better, expect that's not how simple it was going to be with Karkat right here.

He literally screeches, he's fucking pissed off for sure.

"FUCK! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU THROW UP NEAR ME? YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, OH MY GOD. THIS SHIT SMELLS SO FUCKING BAD. YOU KNOW WHAT SOLLUX, I'M DONE. I'M FUCKING DONE, I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR SHITTY FACE AT ALL. GOOD FUCKING BYE, ASSHOLE."

My face sort of scrunches up, I see him walking towards the exit.

I run towards the exit, and stand in front of him.

"Listen to me KK, I didn't mean to fucking throw up right at that spot. But that's not the problem here, the problem is why the fuck are you freaking the fuck out? You need to calm the fuck down, I know I can be a shitty friend to one of the most precious friends I have. But you need to calm down, Karkat. I want to make you better, how am I supposed to do that if all you do is hide all your feelings? I just can't help you if you don't share anything to me, don't you understand that? I really want to help you, KK."

His eyes are no longer red, he looks calmer.

He bites his lips, I notice the candy red blood dripping down.

He looks at me with one of the most scared look in his eyes, he's afraid of me looking at his blood.

I ignore the blood, knowing Karkat he doesn't want anyone to know about his blood.

I decide it's time to ask Karkat for something, even if he doesn't like it.

"KK, I need you to do me a favor. Can you do it?"

He wipes his blood on his jumper, he glares right back at me.

"I don't know, I'm a bit pissed at you right now. Is it important?"

His voice is soft but there's a small hint of pain in his strained voice, from all the yelling he'd done.

I know that he's extremely sensitive once his emotions get out, I should probably watch what I say to him.

"I don't think it's important but I just want you to relax from all of this shit. And I have to clean up this throw up, you don't want to stay and help me. So I think you should go eat something, calm yourself down somewhere. We'll talk in about one hour, sounds good?"

I notice the look in his eyes, they seem dull at the moment.

His voice seemingly changes to a dull tone, weird.

"Yeah, I guess I'll see you in an hour. I'm not very hungry, so I'm going to go to my hide out."

He's thinking about something, I can see it in his eyes.

"Okay, don't do anything stupid."

His eyes aren't even looking at me, he's looking at the floor.

"Yeah, I won't.."

I get out of his way, he slowly walks out with his back hunched.

I don't know what he's thinking about, but it's probably not anything positive.

I sigh knowing that I have to clean up my own fucking throw up, Karkat was right this shit smells bad.

I start cleaning, it takes about an hour or so to actually finish.

==> **It's time to meet him, fuckass**

Well, now it's time to go see him.

It's not going to be what you think it is.

You're finally out of that lab, you're walking down the halls.

Honestly you don't know where the fuck his hide out is, it's pretty sad that you as his friend don't know where it is but anyone would know that Karkat prefers to hide from everyone for whatever reason.

You're thinking that you should talk to him on Trollian, ask him where his hide out is but you know that isn't a good idea because most likely he'll ignore it.

He usually doesn't ignore messages on the site, but today you can easily tell he'd ignore your messages.

He's been acting strange ever since the you freaked out on him, for no particular reason.

Your mood swings have been getting out of control, if Karkat can't deal with it as well as you thought he'd be able to.

Anyways back to the point, where is his hide out? The only person who'd probably know that would either be Gamzee or Kanaya.

Looks like he doesn't even want Terezi to go to his hide out, probably because he finds her annoying sometimes.

And no way in hell am I going to go to Gamzees hide out, it's honestly fucking creepy there.

My only choice is to go talk to Kanaya, probably the best choice out of the two choices.

I start walking down the hall, the grey walls making everything so dull.

It's empty as usual but something seems off, you purse your lips.

The paranoid feelings you keep getting, are really annoying.

The soft steps of your mismatched shoes, the way you're hunching your back.

You turn around and look to see no one in the hall you're heading, it's odd that no one's out.

It's awfully quiet nowadays in the lab, you rarely see anyone around except for Aradia with Kanaya and sometimes Vriska.

But that's about it, it bothers you that everyone had stopped coming to the lab but then again what would expect when you guys already beat the game.

And everyone has laptops in their hide outs, it's just not very bright in the lab anymore.

You finally get to her hide out, noticing all her decorations on her little door and how all of it matched perfectly.

As usual Kanaya must always have fashion, which she always had in the first place.

You knock softly, knowing that you should respect her privacy and to not disrupt her in any way.

You wait outside, you notice a shadow coming from the left side of the hall.

The curiosity, burns you inside.

Their appearance finally comes closer, and closer to you.

It's Vriska, who knew why the fuck she was coming down this hall.

You eye her warily, she notices you and her smirk get's even bigger.

"Hey, Sollux. What're you doing here?"

I stare at her, is she honestly asking me a stupid question like that.

"I'm here to talk to Kanaya, why?"

She snorts, this girl somehow pisses me off either way when she's annoying and when she's her usual self.

"I'm here for Kanaya, why do you need to see her anyways if you don't mind me asking?"

"I...need to find KK's hide out. And I don't know where it is, pretty sad right?"

She laughs even louder, and she eyes me.

"Tch, I can't believe you don't know where it is and you're one of his closest friends. That's sad alright, anyways I don't know where it is either so the idea of going to Kanaya was the best."

"Yeah, I knocked on her door yet I don't hear movement inside.."

Vriska puts her finger on her lips, looks around the halls.

What in the hell is she doing?

"Well I think she's asleep but I doubt it, let's just get inside."

"Yeah."

I nod to her, she grabs the doorknob and twists it open with a click.

"Get in shitface."

Jesus, she's still being her annoying self.

"Okay, you don't have to be bitch about it."

She ignores me, and just walks inside while I'm following her inside..

I look around the room, it's surrounded with all sort of things Kanaya likes and her clothing is all on stands.

And we both see Kanaya sitting there on the floor, staring at us.

"Do You Guys Need Something?"

Vriska looks at me, I sigh knowing that I have to talk about his hide out.

"Yeah, I need to know where Karkat's hide out is."

Kanaya looks at me, she looks a bit surprised that I didn't know where his hide out was in the first place.

"Well, I'll Give It To You Then. His Hide Out Is At The End Of Gamzees Hall, It's Pretty Close To Gamzees Except It's Sort Of Hidden So You're Going To Have To Watch Out."

"Okay, thanks Kanaya. See you later."

"You're Welcome, Sollux. Vriska Can You Come Closer To Me, I Need To Measure You."

"Yeah, just let me watch Sollux fail at finding his hide out."

"No."

"Fine."

I close the door softly, and start walking down ahead to the hall Vriska was coming from.

I notice nothing coming in my eyesight, I've only been walking for a little bit.

The soft sound of my shoes pressing onto the hard, grey cement floor.

I still don't see any rooms near, this is fucking ridiculous.

I hear a honk, a fucking honk.

Gamzee's somewhere near here, I know for a fucking fact.

Another honk, damn his honks get annoying but they seem to make you nervous for some odd reason.

Five more honks, what the fuck is he doing honking that many fucking times.

I look around and I find his hide out, but not Karkat's.

His door is painted with all kinds of colors, I'm kind of nervous at the thought that his door might be splattered with Troll blood.

It sickens me that Gamzee would ever do that, I mean he is fucking weird but not that weird but then again we're talking about Gamzee here.

I slowly get closer to his door, noticing the colorful paintings are really shitty.

I knock on the door, I don't know if he's going to answer he's usually getting his relax on or some shit like that.

 I lean in closer to his door, put my head onto the door.

"Karbro, you need to motherfucking calm down brother. I wanna help you but you're not motherfucking making sense if you keep on shouting like that."

Karkat was inside, I fucking knew it.

Who else would talk to Gamzee the fucking insane clown.

The only person who would vent out on Gamzee is Karkat.

I listen to whoever speaks up first.

"Well, Gamzee I don't think I can do this anymore he's making me feel more like shit. I don't think I can handle his mood swings any fucking more because it doesn't matter what I say or do he doesn't give a fuck about a stupid whiny troll like me and honestly I'm starting to believe him that I am fucking trash and I shouldn't even live in his life. I can't do this Gamzee, it's getting harder and harder to stand and tolerate his whole mood and I just can't do it anymore. It's getting tiresome every fucking time I want to hang out with him nowadays he's either his usual douchebag self or he starts out like that then gets angrier the more I talk. What am I supposed to Gamzee? Because he's one of the three people who I can trust at least a bit more than others and he doesn't consider me a pest unlike others. Tell me what is my position in living when all I am is a burden to others when all I do is complain and shout like the loud ass motherfucker I am."

His voice is slowly starting to crack, mostly at the end of his last sentence.

I wait for Gamzees reply.

"Brother, don't all up and motherfucking blame yourself for his problems. You're not trash motherfucker you're a motherfucking miracle, without you Karbro I wouldn't be sane and I mean I might not be motherfucking sane at all but you've helped me with my motherfucking problems. So now it's my turn to motherfucking help you out with your motherfucking problems, this motherfucker doesn't deserve a miracle like you Karbro. Best friend I want you to motherfucking relax with me, understand motherfucker? Get all your problems out of your motherfucking head, and relax."

Damnit why does KK think this way, how come Gamzee understands him better than you.

I should probably leave, but my legs don't move.

Shit, I want to leave before I hear something I shouldn't hear or get caught by Gamzee.

"I-It's not easy for me Gamzee, I really think I should go back to my hide out and-"

"No, you're going to motherfucking do something stupid. I know you Karbro you don't work that way you hate yourself more than you hate him, don't you motherfucking see what's wrong there? If you're by yourself you'll do more harm to your motherfucking self, I won't motherfucking let that happen."

"You don't get it Gamzee, I can't help him for shit. It's funny he's always in a good mood when he's with Aradia but when I hang out with him he's in a bad mood and gets all mad at me for talking about some stupid shit. I don't understand why he's like that, but I'm guessing he doesn't like me as much as he likes Aradia. I always know when people want to get rid of a piece of shit like me. Hahaha."

Karkats laugh is cracking more or so.

_Why the fuck do I have to listen to this god damn whiny little shit._

_Shut the fuck up, I care for KK unlike you._

_Okay then, do you really think you'll still be friends with him when he has that juggalo?_

_You didn't exactly treat him like this other friend who he's talking to, maybe you should give up on him then you wouldn't have these horrible mood swings._

_Honestly SHUT THE FUCK UP, I never did anything to harm him and never will._

_Are you sure about that, my friend?_

_Fucking sure of it, douchebag._

_Heehee, I hope you're right. Or I might have to kill him._

I cover my mouth, I'm arguing with myself so fucking annoying.

That's when I hear it, I hear the worst thing I could have possibly stayed here for.

"I-I'm breaking Gamzee, he was one of the people I could trust and all we do now is fight in the lab. I can't stand being fucking used to his mood swings, I can't do anything to help him and I'm supposed to be his friend. Tell me what I should do."

"You need to motherfucking chill with me, it may be the only motherfucking answer."

"I don't know Gamzee, I-I-"

That's when it happens, he's crying I can hear him sniffling his nose.

"Aw, Karbro there's those motherfucking tears. Let it all motherfucking out."

"Shut up, I'm just really fucking annoyed."

"Heh, it's okay best friend no one but me is listening to your motherfucking sweet sniffs. Honk, honk I'm gonna go get some Faygo wanna come?"

"Well I am hungry.. I guess I'll come but wipe that grin off of your clown face."

"Yeah bro, let's get some motherfucking food and watch some of your weird movies. Honk, honk."

"Oh jegus, Gamzee they're called romcoms and they're not weird they're really nice to watch. And stop fucking honking, I swear I will slam your faygo into the trash if you don't fucking stop."

"HeeHee please don't Karbro, I need that shit."

"Fine, just no honking please."

"Okay best friend, let's roll the motherfucking out to the kitchen motherfucker."

I hear Gamzee stand up and Karkats feet shuffling across to the door.

Shit shit shit shit.

Move legs, god damn.

They manage to move, I run down the hall into the corner where I could hide.

I hear Karkat laugh and there it is in all it's glory his face with laughter. 

How the fuck does Gamzee make him laugh, rather than angry.

I can still hear them from this far, I see Gamzee looking around both ways.

He stops staring at the right hall where I'm at, Karkats talking to him but he's staring at this hall.

"What the fuck are you looking at you clown ass? Let's go get some fucking food."

I notice that Gamzees face looks serious and not his usual dazed and lazy look.

His lips are pursed, he's thinking about something.

_He knows you were listening, dumbass._

_No, he doesn't you piece of shit._

_He does, quit denying it he's not as stupid as he looks._

_How could YOU know?_

_Isn't obvious, he heard you run down the hall when he was talking to KK._

_Shit, I didn't notice my footsteps were that fucking loud._

_Well they were fuckass, you better get the hell out or he's going to get you._

_Yeah._

_Before I go, you need to know that your friend KK isn't in a great position with me._

_So I wouldn't speak to him at all, I'm pissed about everything he just did today._

_Understand?_

_Yeah, now get the fuck out of my head._

**== > He's watching you, you should run **

I stare right at him, his purple pupils are staring back.

Karkats still pestering him, he's not listening though.

"Oh my god, Gamzee let's go get some food. What the fuck are you looking at anyways?"

Shit, if KK sees you, you're already fucked.

He stops staring at the hall, his lazy smile returns.

He puts his arm around KKs shoulder, he looks back at the right hall.

I get shivers, I have a bad feeling from that glare he just sent.

"Let's go then Karbro, let's get some motherfucking food."

"After how many times I told you, what were you looking at down there?"

"Nothing brother, nothing but shitty walls."

"Whatever let's go."

"Yeah motherfucker."

I watched them walk down the hall, the tall figure of Gamzee and him hunching lower because of the height differences between both of them.

Karkat still talking to him, not noticing the way he was staring down behind himself.

Once they're out of sight, you pull some of your hair.

You're fucked now, it's best if you just go to sleep and try to hide for awhile.

You walk out of the corner, down the hall they went and turned down another hall.

You entered your hide out, and you sigh.

This turned out to be the worst thing you've done, now you want to just die.

You walk towards your recuperacoon, you slowly take off your black t-shirt and slowly take off your grey jeans.

Once that's done, you take off your black and white shoes, and then your red and blue socks.

There's sweat on the bottom of your feet, most likely caused by how fucking nervous you were when Gamzee started glaring down the hall.

You slip inside the slime, and you close your eyes assuming that KK will talk to you again.

You finally doze off into a sleep, little did you know that he was inside the vent watching you.

Nothing would stop him from protecting his Karbro.

"Night motherfucker."

He leaves the vent, that's when the real nightmare begins.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for writing this, it's become a problem now and I can't control the ideas coming inside of my head. Suggest me any things to add into the story. :P  
> By the way this is probably going to be a longer chapter, just because I think it fits better that way.
> 
> Update: Finished this finally! Literally my first two writings of the ending got erased because I was doing it at school and the stupid computer randomly closes the window, I was pretty mad but in all I think this turned out good.

**Author's Note:**

> Jesus, here is the first chapter, honestly I feel pretty good at the end but I think I started out shitty but don't worry I'll get to the part when Sollux is freaking out on Karkat. Anyways Kanaya is just really busy with Vriska and Aradia but in all she still cares about Karkat like a mother, Karkat being very paranoid about how they hate him.  
> I don't know why Aradia's going to be team captain but I sort of just wanted to write this.  
> My writing is bad so don't even tell me to not write because in all i will forever write shitty.


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